American Girl Doll Outfits and Frat Guy Freakiness in White Lotus

I’m so scared of that southern family.

The White Lotus is back and I, like everyone else, am endlessly entertained by the fashion on the show. It always ends up being such an important part of the storytelling and so I’ll be here, discussing it every week. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out!

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Right off the bat: What the fuck is going on with that family? No seriously, I’m scared?

That seemed to be the major consensus last night after the third season’s first episode aired, and for good reason. Last season, Mike White gave us a fake uncle fucking, saw our response, and I guess was like: How about real incest? I hope not but…let’s all be honest with ourselves, it’s not looking great.

I miss this diva. Not one of her outfits ate but all of her one-liners did.

But all of that aside, you already know something is off with that family right from the get go, even before they all start pulling out IPads and giving each other freaky ass looks that lasted WAY longer than they should have.

I love one of the first shots of the siblings on the boat, which is a clear play on: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Speak No Evil (lots of references to monkeys, excited to find out what they’re up to). You see their personalities instantly play out.

Really don’t want to know what they are thinking in those weird ass little heads of theirs, like at all.

Saxon (played by Patrick Schwarzenegger) on the left is your prototypical white finance bro with croakies and boat shoes. He’s dressed in a polo and white shorts, which I’m sure he’s worn many a casual Friday to the office. You get the sense that he’s dressed like this because he has no idea how else to, but also because he wants to look like he’s still on the clock. He doesn’t dress like he’s on vacation because he’s always grinding. We see this later when he tells Pam, the hotel employee who shows them to their villa, “Oh I don’t need a vacation. I love working.” And he thinks that makes him holier than thou.

We all know this guy. We all hate this guy.

You also can tell that Mike White really hates this kind of guy, we’ve had one every season so far but this might be the stupidest they’ve ever looked. There’s just something about the faded floral polo—you can only see the print if you squint—with the American flag croakies (yuck, so not the vibe right now) and Gucci loafers that feels so deeply lame. He’s too good for a vacation, but not too good to desperately want to let you know that. They’re also in Thailand, where it’s notoriously hot as hell, on a wellness retreat with a digital detox, and he’s posturing in a polo. What a loser.